Two incidences have had me angry this week.
The first incident: 14 year old graduated 8th grade public school Wednesday. Why should this anger me? It angers me because she did not deserve to pass to the next grade or attend a graduation. She has done nothing all year. I know because I have so many conversations with her teachers, her dean, her assistant principal, and her social worker. She averaged a 37% in English the third nine weeks, and a 33% this quarter. Her school sends out weekly "what your child is failing this week" letters. I have one for every week this semester. Out of 4 core subjects (Pre-Algebra, Language Arts, Social Studies, and Science) she has consistently been failing a minimum of three. This is in addition to Band and P.E., which she also is failing. She returned to school Monday after her suspension. I spent hours last week attempting to help her make up some of her work. She didn't turn it in. She threw it in her locker, and was a smart-alek to the teachers when they asked for it. So....even though she was failing 5 out of 6 total classes BEFORE her suspension, and got zero's for the 6 school days she missed, she graduated. Her highest grade was a D- in Pre-Algebra. She was quite angry with us when we weren't gushing over her "accomplishments". Oh well! I feel she didn't accomplish anything this year other than to drive the middle school staff as batty as possible so they would get her out of their hair! Oh, and they accomplished sending off another "successful" student to high school next year, and thus get their state funding for another student well-taught....
The other incident that has me upset involved my 9 year old. She was invited to a friend's house to play yesterday. They have been friends for several years, so off she went. When she came back home she was noticably subdued, so I asked if she had fun. "Not really", she replied. "There were some bigger kids there, and they were mean." The older girl is a friend of our 14 year old,(the graduate) and insisted on arguing with a 9 year old. She called my daughter, "gay" and a "wimp" and a "loser" because my 9 year old wouldn't fight her. WHY in the hell would a 9 year old want to fight at all, let alone with a much older girl? She was arguing with her over where big sister was. This girl insited she was at a boot camp for "bad" girls, and C kept trying to tell her, "No, she isn't. She's right down the street at home." The older girl repeatedly threatened C, and C was unsure how to handle it. Where were the parents during all this? Inside on the phone the whole time. Luckily the bigger girl didn't actually get physical.
I explained that with a sister like C has, she will have to deal with people saying things all her life. I know. I went through it all my life due to an older sister's issues. (a sister that left home before I was even born, for crying out loud!) The best thing to say is, "I am not my sister. I can not control what she does or has done. I don't like to fight because fighting is for people too ignorant to use words."
From now in, C may see her friends, but not at that home anymore. If they want to play, they can come here. I have kicked plenty of children out of our yard in my years as a mom, and I have never felt the slightest bit guilty for it. If you can't be civil, and follow the rules, you can get out. If I wanted my daughters to be bullied I would have left them in public school. If I wanted them to graduate with failing grades, and no education...I would have left them in public school.
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