HAPPY BIRTHDAY APRIL!

A is 18 today! (So I can use her name now.)

I met April when she was 6. She's not my daughter in the true sense, in that I didn't give birth to her. When I met her she was pretty messed up over her mother leaving her Dad, her sister, and her. She was fiercly loyal to her biological mother, and I was fine with that. I wasn't going to try to be her "new mommy" or something like that. After several years of her loyalty to someone who never showed up for visits, never remembered to call or even send a card on birthdays, and never even called on Christmas I started to get tired of it. I understood she loved her mother, but after years of raising her, teaching her, trying to do the best I could at parenting her, I did grow tired of it. I thought April would never see that I loved her.

When she was 12 her mother kidnapped her and her sister. We didn't hear from them for over 2 weeks. We had no idea where they were. I could barely sleep for worrying about her that time. I wasn't worried about her sister, because her sister always had tons of attention from her mother, but I was frantic about April. When we finally found them, and went to pick them up I was furious. Not at the girls, but at the situation. I started crying in the car, and told April how worried we'd been, and how much I loved her. She said she'd tried to call me, but her mother had caught her, and she'd gotten in trouble. From then on April and I became the best of friends.

Four months after the kidnapping, I left my husband for awhile. I begged him to let me take April with me, but he wouldn't allow it. When I left, April climbed in the back of the U-Haul, and bawled the entire time I packed my things. I was bawling the entire time, too, but I couldn't stay due to marital issues that were pretty bad at the time.

I moved across the country. It was like I'd never left. EVERY morning at 5, as soon as I woke up, I'd turn on my computer. I wouldn't even have coffee poured, and April was "buzzing" me on instant messenger. She would talk to me all day. We had web-cams, so we could just sit and talk like we were right there. I told her she drove me nuts that summer, but in reality it was sweet. She called me once in a panic. Her dad was at work, she was home alone, and there was a tornado warning. I had to calm her down, talk her through it till her dad got home. I tried to get her to go to the basement, but she was too scared. I think I was more frantic than she was...from 1.000 miles away all I could do was talk to her, worry, and then REALLY worry when they lost power for 3 days, and I didn't know if she was all right!

After 2 months, I missed my husband too much to stay gone, so I came home. I will never forget pulling into our driveway. April was on the phone, watching for me. She saw me, THREW the phone across the yard, and LEAPED a good 15 feet from the porch steps to my arms as I stepped out of the van. LOL She jumped into my arms like a little kid, screaming. "Mom's home! Mom's home!"

As I write this I want to cry. I have so many memories of April growing up. I remember I thought she'd NEVER get over her first boyfriend. I remember her struggles in school. I remember her heartache over her real mother. I remember when she was 14 she and I had an "unofficial" adoption ceremony. I remember spending hours playing "Guitar Hero" with her. I remember all the movies we watched together, because we were the only 2 in the house wanting to see them. I remember all the books we've shared. All the videos I've made of her dancing; she's a complete goofball. : ) I remember the bad times, too...but won't mention them here. SHE knows.

April took her sweet time to warm up to me, but 12 years later I can't ask for a better friend or daughter. I think she's an idiot for getting married in 9!!!! days, but I'm happy she has a good guy who loves her, and will be good to her. I'm sad she isn't going to college, but she never was cut out for school. I'm happy she has found a church, and is interested in the Bible. I'm SO proud of her for being the first one ever in her entire family (biological parents, not me) to graduate high school.

She's 18 now. Free to do anything. She will soon be 1,000 miles away from me. : ( I'm going to be the typical mother, and bawl my head off through her wedding. I will bawl even more, as this time SHE is the one driving away, and I know she won't be back.

April...pookie...I love you. You are just as much a daughter to me as C and E, even though I missed the first 6 years of your life. Happy birthday.