I love teaching my daughters. Some days it's hard to find time, and some days I get incredibly bored, but the teaching itself, is usually actually fun. I loved that my daughters aren't wasting hours waiting for other students to catch up, and I love that when they "get it", we can keep moving on to new material. My daughter used to literally cry over math in public school. They spent almost 2 hours a day on it, and C was done in 1/4 of that time. She still won't admit to liking it, but we do the entire lesson, and homework assignment in under half an hour most days. Science is more of a fun activity than boring. I couldn't stand science in school, but my daughters and I love it now. Rocks, birds, clouds, it doesn't matter, it's fun. History is apparently my strong point. I'm a history buff, anyway, so teaching it is easy, and I always have a flair for turning some boring old war into a funny story. (If I do say so, myself. LOL) I get so into history that I've caught my husband eavesdropping in the hall, and laughing out loud. Whatever it takes for her to remember the stuff.
Then...there is English. Growing up, English was one of those subjects I called a "blow off" subject. An easy A. No work involved. I never really got into poetry, but I could spout something off if I was assigned to. I could write volumes of stories, essays, persuasive arguments...you name it, I could take 10 minutes, and have an "A" paper. We didn't do a whole lot of grammar, but that was easy, too. Noun, verb, adjective...guess the rest. Essay question that I didn't know the answer to?..no problem. Just baffle 'em with B.S. I could cover half a page in answer to said question, and say absolutely nothing, and get one of those little "Excellent" comments written in red pen next to it from the teacher. Another A. Spelling...no problem for someone that taught herself to read AND write at age 4 during naptime. Literature...easy....just read a book, something I did non-stop back then, and still do now. I didn't have to take English classes of any sort in college, because I was allowed to "test out" of them. (I did the same with college math.) I did, however, take some just for fun. Yes, I'm a nerd.
So......WHY IN THE WORLD CAN'T I TEACH IT?!? It is my daughter's weakest area. She's not really bad at English, but she certainly isn't good, either. She loves to read, and thankfully seems to be a natural speller, like me. We do a spelling curriculum, but only because it has really good vocabulary exercises, and there are some thinking skills involved. Up until yesterday I would even have said she's good at the grammar portion of English. Her weak area is writing. She can not stand to write, and will always take the easiest (read...laziest) way out of a written assignment. I KNOW part of it is that I expect too much from a ten year old. I expect that because she excels in other areas that I excelled at, she should go above and beyond in writing. (If anyone has ever noticed that I occasionally let her type "guest posts" here in my blog, that is why. If she manages a decent paragraph, she feels very special to be able to type it up on the computer and put it on Mommy's blog.) I rarely yell at my children, but poor C gets frequent rants from me about English.
We just started the year. I have it planned that, although we will do grammar, we are going to concentrate on writing this year. Her book is set up so that every other chapter is grammar, alternating with a writing chapter. It is written very well. I had high hopes for this English program, after going through 2 last year. (And the second half of last year I wussed out, and did only grammar. My excuse being, that some children need a little more time for their brains to grasp the abstract thinking involved with writing.) C has never (until yesterday) had any problems with grammar. She has a good, solid background in grammar. The first chapter we doubled up on lessons, and did 2 each day. She did the chapter review Monday, and took the test yesterday. She didn't miss a single thing the entire chapter. I didn't expect her to, as it was mainly review of things she has done for 2 years now. She missed SIX test questions yesterday, earning her an 82%. That's a C. On things she's never had a problem with, and should have easily aced. For those of you that know me, C's are completely unacceptable. B's are barely tolerable, but C's?!? I figure if you know the stuff you will get an A. Anything less means 1.) I didn't do my job as a teacher, and 2.) the child is a borderline idiot, and needs more work. (Sorry to offend. If you don't like it, don't read my blog.)
Remember, this C was on a test of things she KNEW. She's done hundreds of times. She had no issues whatsoever on the entire chapter, but when she did the test apparently the word "are" became a preposition, and interrogative sentences suddenly became confused with imperative sentences. (Cute side note.....during my rant after grading the test I asked C, "Why do you think they call it an interrogation when the police question their suspect after arresting them???" Poor C said, "I don't know, Mom. I've never been to jail." LOL!)
So, on day 7 of our official start of 5th grade, I am already having issues with English. I would like to call in a substitute, but as the only legal substitutes for homeschooling are other, immediate family members, that won't be happening. My choices are limited to a 6 year old, and a man that skated through school with D's, dropping out at age 16, and has read a total of two books in twelve years that I've known him. (both having to do with snipers in Iraq killing the enemy.)
I'm not sure who dreads English more, me or my daughter. Yes, I realize she zooms in on the "subtle" little clues I give her, and that my attitude affects hers. My attitude reguarding English has not been subtle at all. I have not been patient or humble. I have a mental block when it comes to people that don't understand concepts quickly. I am, basically, a horrible English teacher. I have no qualms about admitting that. I am not helping my daughter out. If I could afford to hire a private tutor, I most likely would, for this one subject. If it was legal to do so, I would skip English entirely until I get her into high school.
However, the moral of this story/rant is that I, at least care. In school a C is perfectly acceptable, and they move on. In homeschool we CAN work through this, and if we have to do it in baby steps we will. If I feel myself getting angry we should stop for the day. If I see C becoming frustrated we should stop for the day. We school year round, and we are far ahead in every other subject. We have plenty of time. I love this girl with everything in me. I want her to learn, to do well, and to enjoy learning. We CAN make it through 5th grade English.
Today we begin her first writing chapter, and I promise to remain calm. In the event I feel my blood pressure rising, we will stop.
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