Why We Began Home schooling...part 2....more public school

Last post I left off while C was finishing her Kindergarten year. This same year, her oldest sister was in middle school. When April was 11, and in 6th grade, she came home asking questions such as "Mom? What's a bl** j*b?" because she had heard other kids talking about that, and a boy on her field trip had asked her to give him one. She was also telling me about girls in the 7th and 8th grade who were pregnant. Apparently, bj's were reserved for a "just friends" status, and quite common, but "all the way" was for the more "serious" of the middle school couples, and getting pregnant was a badge of honor. While this was all quite shocking to me, I tried to give as honest answers as I could, not show COMPLETE revulsion, and keep the lines of communication with my daughter open, so she could feel comfortable bringing these topics home to at least have someone to discuss these things with.

Meanwhile, C sailed through first grade with no major problems, and a wonderful teacher. C made "high honor roll" every quarter in first and second grade. She was one of only 2 students in the entire school to receive that honor. I continued being actively involved in helping out with classroom activities and field trips. The only trouble C had during these years was a few of her classmates made fun of her for always being on high honor roll, and for having a mother who cared enough to come in and help out in the classroom. She was still being called vulgar names, but this time the name-calling stemmed mainly from GIRLS in her class, one in particular. C began to refuse to go to the bathroom at school because these girls would gang up on her during restroom break.

C also began, during these years, to suffer night terrors.....virtually every night I would awaken to her screaming, yelling, crying. I could not get her to wake up during these episodes, and she claimed to not remember them at all in the mornings. She became very tired and difficult to wake up for school in the mornings. Every time I tried to talk to her, find out what was bothering her, she claimed to have no memory of bad dreams, or of screaming and crying for a good half hour at LEAST every night.

One day C came home with a note stating she had a detention after school the next day for "disrupting" class. Of course, I asked her what happened. She said one of the girls who always taunted her had been walking up the aisle between desks. The teacher had been writing something on the blackboard. This girl whispered "white b**ch!" at my daughter, and shoved her desk into C so hard that C had bruises on her chest, and knocked her over backwards out of her chair. C cried out, " Mrs W!" to her teacher, and THAT was how C managed to disrupt the class. Mrs. W claims that since she didn't SEE what happened, and since C was always complaining and "tattling" on this other girl that her only recourse was to give both girls detention the next day. The teacher said since she didn't personally see the incident, only heard C call out her name, that she had to punish both girls equally. Mrs. W told me then, as on other occasions, that C really needed to learn to "handle" things, and not be such a tattle tale all the time. I told Mrs. W that maybe SHE needed to learn to handle her class and not allow girls to push and shove other little girls and call them b**ches and leave bruises on them, and then punish C for merely calling out to her teacher for help. I then called the principal, who said she had to stand by the teacher.

So...the next day at 2 : 15, I showed up in the school office, and served detention with my daughter. I felt it was unfair that she should even be punished at ALL, let alone that the girl who made a racist, profane comment to her and knocked her clear out of her chair backwards was receiving the SAME punishment as my daughter was for calling to the teacher for help. Of course, the principal came out and told me I couldn't be there in the detention room, and i told her, "You already know I feel this is wrong. Our school district claims to have a "zero tolerance" policy for bullying and violence, yet you have issued C a detention which goes on her permanent record for asking for help. While I disagree with her being punished, I also raise my daughter to respect her authority figures, which, at school are her teachers and YOU. Therefore, since you have decided she has to serve this detention, I want her to know we have to respect that decision, but I'm not making her sit here alone when she did nothing wrong!" The principal didn't quite know what to do with me, so there C and I sat and served our half hour detention. I then went home with her, and called the district superintendent.

The next day, the principal called me at home, and asked me to meet with her. When I arrived, she had C, C's teacher, and 4 other children in her office. Apparently, after I served detention in support of my daughter, the principal decided to further investigate the matter of what had occurred in class 2 days earlier. She had called each and every child in the class down to her office, and these 4 who sat near C all told the exact same story as C had tried to tell. That C had been working at her desk, that the other girl had said, "whit b**ch" and shoved the desk into C, knocking her over backwards, and that all C had done was call out her teacher's name for help.

The teacher continued trying to say that since she hadn't sen it happen, she had no recourse but to punish both girls equally for causing a disturbance. The principal, however, apologized, and said she would have C's detention cleared from her record, and informed me that because of their "zero tolerance" policy they had to adhere to district guidelines and suspend the other girl for 3 days from school. I asked why had they not talked to other children BEFORE C and I served our detention? Why had I had to call the district administration office and talk to the superintendent to get anything looked into? Why had C had to serve the detention in the first place, when she should have been HELPED when she was hurt and bruised, instead of being punished fro being 8 years old and asking for help in vain? The principal and teacher both tried to say that some of the other children were against C because she always won high honor awards at assembly, and therefore they felt she was getting "special treatment".

Well....DUH! I guess any child who was one of only two in the whole school who consistently made the high honor roll SHOULD get to feel a little special, walking up every quarterly assembly and receiving their certificate award. That's a pretty big deal. It is not something a child should be made to feel ashamed of, or that a child should feel he/she has to NOT get in order to be SAFE! The girl who shoved her desk into C was in her second grade class. However, this girl had been in trouble numerous times for bullying other children for whatever reason, and she was 10 years old and SUPPOSED to be in 4th grade, but had been held back twice. She was older, about a foot taller (really, this girl was TALL), and had a long school record of trouble. Yes, they cleared C's school record of the detention, but she still had had to serve it, and she had still had to go 2 days being a victim not only of the girl who hurt her, but of a teacher who wouldn't listen or get the facts!

Sadly, all this was not enough to make me think of pulling C out of public school. I STILL hadn't heard of homeschooling, other than the Duggar family on TV. I didn't think it was LEGAL. I didn't think normal people did it. It certainly never crossed MY mind that it was an option. By this time I HAD looked into private Christian schools in our area, but they were WAY beyond our financial means. However, I made the comment to my husband one night that due to what C was experiencing, and due to the graphic sexual behaviors at April's middle school, that, "Come hell or high water, I will NOT allow C to continue in this school district. I will save every penny I can so that by the time SHE reaches middle school I can put her in a private school!"

To be continued....next post...third grade, the year that changed everything.