Why We Began Home Schooling...part 4....final chapter

During Christmas break of C's 3rd grade year I noticed something strange. Her night terrors stopped. Completely. And then it dawned on me that she NEVER had night terrors during the summer, or any other times school was on break. She didn't wake up screaming, yelling, thrashing around, crying, throwing up, or crawl into bed with me when there was no school!

Coincidentally...or maybe NOT coincidentally, I tend to believe God sends us SIGNS we can either choose to follow or ignore....I happened to read an article in "Parents" magazine during Christmas break profiling a family in new York City that home schooled. I thought to myself, "Well THAT'S a cool idea, too bad it isn't legal." And then....another sign....I happened to see something on TV about home schooling...perhaps an episode of the Duggar family, if I'm recalling correctly. And I thought again, "Wow, I wish *I* could do that. I wonder what the laws are about this home schooling stuff. Maybe it's NOT illegal, since I keep hearing about it."

So you add C's boredom with being held back academically, the bullying and verbal abuse, the tyrannical lunch-lady, along with the fact that I'd suddenly realized during breaks from school C wasn't suffering ANY of her night time terrors and sickness, AND add in the fact I kept "coincidentally" seeing things about home schooling, and I decided one morning to do a little google search online to see what I could find out about this home schooling stuff.

Much to my surprise, I found out home schooling is not only perfectly legal in all 50 states, it is growing exponentially every year because LOTS of parents were having the exact same issues I was worrying about with my daughter. I began researching obsessively. I couldn't STOP reading websites. I couldn't get enough books from the library on the topic. I found home school blogs. I found home school forums. I asked questions. I made up my mind, and decided that this is what I wanted to do...that homeschooling was a completely natural extension of parenting, and that no one would be able to teach my individual child as well as i could, that no one could invest the time, the love, the energy into her well-being better than I. I decided that I would make C finish out her 3rd grade year in public school, but that for 4th grade she would stay home safely with her mother teaching her. I even, after MORE research, chose and ordered her 4th grade math curriculum. (Saxon 54)

Then I decided maybe I should broach the subject with my then-husband. LOL

I was scared to talk to him about it. I thought he would think I was nuts. I thought he would be against the idea. I excitedly opened the Saxon math box, and then hid it so he wouldn't find out. And then I just couldn't keep it from him any longer, because I wanted to tell C about home schooling, and I couldn't tell my 9 year old without first at least NOTIFYING her dad of my plan. LOL I printed off pages of information off the internet, and marked places in books to show him. I went into this discussion fully prepared to defend my stance, argue till I wore him down, and no matter what he said to home school anyway.

One evening I finally brought it up. And he said, "Yes! Yes! That is PERFECT! Yes! You HAVE to do this! We have to do ANYTHING to keep her out of these schools. They are ruining A and B, and I can't see another child of mine go through this. YES! That is a GREAT idea!" I didn't even have to say anything other than, "I have been thinking about C's problems in school, and I've done some research, and I'd like to try homeschooling her." And then I said, "Oh, good, because I've already ordered her math, and I know what else I want to buy." LOL

When I talked to C about it, she began crying. Crying because she was so happy to know she had an "out". Happy because her mommy had figured out a solution to her problem and was going to help her, save her. And sad because she didn't want to go back. Ever. It took a lot of coaxing to get her to agree to go back. I made a bargain with her that I would call her in sick every Wednesday; that way she never had to go to school more than 2 days in a row. And reminded her that Mondays were ok because she had that 30 minutes of violin. And Fridays weren't bad because when she got through the day she had a whole weekend. Of course, she tried to get me to call her in sick EVERY day, and since I was already doing "school" with her every night at home, it was hard for me to adhere to making her stick the rest of the year out.

By March, the ONLY thing keeping her in school was those 30 minutes of violin once a week. I began calling her in sick more and more often, but not too many days in a row, because we didn't want to get in trouble for truancy. By mid-March it was time for Spring break. And once again, for 2 weeks, I had my happy child back. The one who LIKED to get up in the mornings, and the one who slept the nights through peacefully.

April 1st, 2008, was C's first day back to school after spring break. It was also her LAST day of public school. As always, she walked out of the building at 2:15, crying, miserable, mad because her class was so boring, and the teacher wouldn't let her work on multiplication because "it would make the other kids feel bad since they are still working an addition and subtraction." She had to go to the bathroom, because she refused to go at school because that's where some of the girls cussed at her and pushed her around if she went in. She was hungry, because she never ate lunch unless they served something with rolls or mashed potatoes. Three girls had called her a "white b***h" and poked her with pencils waiting in line on the staircase. That night she woke up screaming, crying, and yelling again.

Early the morning of April 2nd, as her dad watched the news, and got ready to go to work, and I sat drinking my coffee, I said to him, "Enough is enough. I can't take this for another 6 weeks, and I'm not putting her through this anymore. (as we listened to her crying in her sleep in her bedroom) I'm not sending her back. I'm writing a letter of intent to the school, and I'm taking it up there in person this morning, and I'm never making her go back to that hell-hole." And he said, "Good!Thank God!"

So I let C sleep in late that morning, and when she woke up, I told her she didn't have to go back, but that she and I had to drive up to the school and take her principal the letter of intent. C said, "Really? You MEAN it, Mommy? I don't have to go back?!?" And began bawling her head of out of relief. I showed her the letter. We delivered it. We thanked her teacher, her music teacher, and picked up her school supplies. As we walked out of the classroom, the teacher's aide followed us into the hall, and whispered to me that she, herself, had been home schooled, and that she intended to home school her own children, and that she was SO happy for C, but not to tell anyone she had said that to us because she had been instructed not to ever tell anyone at the school she worked at about home schooling.

I have SO much more to say about home schooling. It is truly my passion....educating my daughters, spending time with them, finding curriculum that matches their own individual learning styles and personalities, their strengths and weaknesses. I'd love to talk about all the things *I* have learned through teaching my daughters. I'd love to ramble on and on about this whole new lifestyle. Because it is NOT just "school at home", it is our whole way of life. I'd love to talk about some of the wonderful people I've met through home schooling, or tell you about all the people who are positive about it. (and in fact, I've not had any negative reactions to it at all.) But I've rambled on enough for right now, and the only thing I'd like to add to THIS post is that from that night on, C has not spent ONE NIGHT in my bed. She has not woken up crying or screaming or yelling or puking ONE TIME since I pulled her out of public school.

My daughter left public school on April 2, 2008, and I have NO regrets. I KNOW I am doing the right thing, the best thing for her, and also for little E, who I've home schooled from the beginning and is now in 3rd grade. I have so many thoughts, so many ideas, so many opinions, but at least now I have finally gotten down in writing the story of WHO we are, and what led us to home schooling.