Ok, sorry about the delay. C is well, and I am well, and we've both finished antibiotics. Nothing to do with my topic, but softball is also finished for this year. C's team just wasn't a good team this year, and they finished in last place for A league. E's team finished 2nd in C league.
Now, back to home schooling. I left off at the end of C's 2nd grade year, where she continued to do well academically, but was bullied almost daily. C began her 3rd grade school year a little better off. Not only was she still earning the top grades in the entire SCHOOL (not just her grade level), but she was also one of only 2 children in 3rd grade selected to play in her school's violin program, something usually reserved only for the 4th and 5th graders. So, every Monday, for 30 minutes, she got to leave class, and have a violin lesson, and perform in their concerts.
However, as the year progressed, not only did bullying begin anew, we also began having lunch and recess issues. The children are allowed 15 minutes to go through the lunch line, sit down, eat, and dispose of their garbage. They are not allowed to speak a word during this time. So....barely enough time to gulp down anything, and NO time to relax or talk with friends. IF there was ONE WORD spoken in the lunchroom, the lunch ladies punished the children by making them stand still and silently against the wall for the remaining 15 minutes of their lunch "hour". (actually only 30 minutes.) As it was nearly impossible for several classes of elementary children to be able to get through lunch without one, single word spoken by several classes of elementary students, C spent most of her lunch time standing still, facing a wall, with every other child in her class.
I called the principal. She told me, "It might not seem fair, but kids can be pretty LOUD if given the chance, and Mrs. T keeps them in line." So, I wrote a letter to the administration, expressing that I felt the few minutes break each day was IMPORTANT for the children to relax, eat, socialize, and get a few minutes of fresh air and exercise to break up the monotony of sitting still at a desk for 6 hours. I never received any answers, and apparently I was the only parent who thought it weird to force children to not move, and not speak, let alone, PLAY and EXERCISE for 30 minutes each day. The only minor satisfaction I got for C on THAT issue was during Thanksgiving week, when parents are allowed to come eat lunch at the school with their children, and I, and several other mothers, ALL thought the silence rule was ridiculous....so we mothers happily engaged the children in conversations, even daring to make them giggle and laugh, while we ate with them. Mrs. T came out and glared at us, and one time even tried to shush us MOMS! However, *I* am not a subservient person, and no lunch lady would have controlled me when *I* was an elementary student, let alone now that this woman was making the love of my life, my CHILD, miserable, along with hundreds of other children. Children are full of LIFE, and who in the world has their child sit silently at a desk all day, with no break, not even allowed to speak during the 30 minutes they are supposed to eat, play, exercise, and get at least a few minutes of fresh air?
I don't conduct my HOME that way, why in the world was I sending my little girl off 5 days a week to let OTHERS treat her that way?!?
Meanwhile, aside from the half hour every Monday that C got to participate in violin class, she was dreading school more and more. Every morning was a daily battle...she cried, hid under her pillow, begged me to let her stay home. On good days I was able to coax her out of bed 10 minutes before the bell rang, get her to get dressed and go to the bathroom, (she refused to use the school bathrooms, if she didn't go before we left, she wouldn't go until 2:30, when I picked her up.)and actually get in the car. Every morning I watched her walk in those big double doors, and feel guiltier and guiltier. I didn't know what other option I HAD....parents HAVE to send their children to school, don't they? It's illegal NOT to. EVERY child goes to school, and we all survive, right? But I just felt horrible, sometimes crying, myself, at how mean I felt abandoning my girl, forcing her to go somewhere she was afraid of, was bored at, was abused at.
Every night, C woke us up. She suffered from night terrors....screaming, crying, yelling. I would go in her room, attempt to wake her up, sometimes i was able to, sometimes she was so sound asleep she just kept crying and yelling. Sometimes she would become so upset in her sleep she would vomit all over in the bed. Many nights, I would say at least 3 or 4 out of every 7, C would crawl into my bed beside me. I was never one for having my babies co-sleep, but nor was I one to tell a scared, crying child that they had to deal with it alone and to go away, so when she felt the need to get in bed with me, I didn't push her away or discourage her. I would put my arm around her and hold her. And apparently sometimes engage in a sleep-talking conversation with her that I never remembered, but would make her laugh the next day as she told me about it. But that's beside the point...
The point is that my child was growing older and older, yet becoming more and more afraid to even GO to school. She fared far above average academically, yet detested doing the same things over and over. She begged me to teach her multiplication in 3rd grade because she was so TIRED of adding and subtracting. She begged me to buy her books she would like because the ones she was allowed to read at school were too easy, and she finished several of them a day, yet the school said she wasn't "old enough" to read chapter books. The only thing she liked about school was violin 30 minutes a week, and the rare occasions the children were silent enough during lunch to actually get to PLAY on the new play equipment in the school yard. In the evenings, at home, I read her chapter after chapter of the "Little House on the Prairie" series, let her read any books she wanted to, and bought her math workbooks, flashcards, and map workbooks because she ASKED me to teach her. She became fascinated with the presidents of our country, beginning with George Washington, so we read books about presidents, bought biographies, and every night we were doing school....it's just that NEITHER of us realized that's what we were doing.
In December school went on WINTER break....not to be confused with Christmas vacation, because Christmas is offensive to some people, and even though there were only about 3 students in her entire school who celebrated anything else (these 3 celebrated Kwanzaa) we were no longer allowed to have a CHRISTMAS program or CHRISTMAS break, we now had a WINTER program and WINTER break. Either way, C went on break for 2 1/2 weeks, and THAT is when our entire future changed.
To be continued....
Monday, July 25, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
C and I are Sick
C and I are both sick. She has been on antibiotics since Saturday, and I am going to the doctor later today. We are also one of the 32 states included in this excessive heat warning, and my air conditioner is not working, which isn't helping us feel any better.
Hopefully, within a few days we will feel better, and I will return to my "Why we Began Home Schooling" series of posts. I have at least 2, and possibly a third, planned. Sorry for the delay.
Hopefully, within a few days we will feel better, and I will return to my "Why we Began Home Schooling" series of posts. I have at least 2, and possibly a third, planned. Sorry for the delay.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Why We Began Home schooling...part 2....more public school
Last post I left off while C was finishing her Kindergarten year. This same year, her oldest sister was in middle school. When April was 11, and in 6th grade, she came home asking questions such as "Mom? What's a bl** j*b?" because she had heard other kids talking about that, and a boy on her field trip had asked her to give him one. She was also telling me about girls in the 7th and 8th grade who were pregnant. Apparently, bj's were reserved for a "just friends" status, and quite common, but "all the way" was for the more "serious" of the middle school couples, and getting pregnant was a badge of honor. While this was all quite shocking to me, I tried to give as honest answers as I could, not show COMPLETE revulsion, and keep the lines of communication with my daughter open, so she could feel comfortable bringing these topics home to at least have someone to discuss these things with.
Meanwhile, C sailed through first grade with no major problems, and a wonderful teacher. C made "high honor roll" every quarter in first and second grade. She was one of only 2 students in the entire school to receive that honor. I continued being actively involved in helping out with classroom activities and field trips. The only trouble C had during these years was a few of her classmates made fun of her for always being on high honor roll, and for having a mother who cared enough to come in and help out in the classroom. She was still being called vulgar names, but this time the name-calling stemmed mainly from GIRLS in her class, one in particular. C began to refuse to go to the bathroom at school because these girls would gang up on her during restroom break.
C also began, during these years, to suffer night terrors.....virtually every night I would awaken to her screaming, yelling, crying. I could not get her to wake up during these episodes, and she claimed to not remember them at all in the mornings. She became very tired and difficult to wake up for school in the mornings. Every time I tried to talk to her, find out what was bothering her, she claimed to have no memory of bad dreams, or of screaming and crying for a good half hour at LEAST every night.
One day C came home with a note stating she had a detention after school the next day for "disrupting" class. Of course, I asked her what happened. She said one of the girls who always taunted her had been walking up the aisle between desks. The teacher had been writing something on the blackboard. This girl whispered "white b**ch!" at my daughter, and shoved her desk into C so hard that C had bruises on her chest, and knocked her over backwards out of her chair. C cried out, " Mrs W!" to her teacher, and THAT was how C managed to disrupt the class. Mrs. W claims that since she didn't SEE what happened, and since C was always complaining and "tattling" on this other girl that her only recourse was to give both girls detention the next day. The teacher said since she didn't personally see the incident, only heard C call out her name, that she had to punish both girls equally. Mrs. W told me then, as on other occasions, that C really needed to learn to "handle" things, and not be such a tattle tale all the time. I told Mrs. W that maybe SHE needed to learn to handle her class and not allow girls to push and shove other little girls and call them b**ches and leave bruises on them, and then punish C for merely calling out to her teacher for help. I then called the principal, who said she had to stand by the teacher.
So...the next day at 2 : 15, I showed up in the school office, and served detention with my daughter. I felt it was unfair that she should even be punished at ALL, let alone that the girl who made a racist, profane comment to her and knocked her clear out of her chair backwards was receiving the SAME punishment as my daughter was for calling to the teacher for help. Of course, the principal came out and told me I couldn't be there in the detention room, and i told her, "You already know I feel this is wrong. Our school district claims to have a "zero tolerance" policy for bullying and violence, yet you have issued C a detention which goes on her permanent record for asking for help. While I disagree with her being punished, I also raise my daughter to respect her authority figures, which, at school are her teachers and YOU. Therefore, since you have decided she has to serve this detention, I want her to know we have to respect that decision, but I'm not making her sit here alone when she did nothing wrong!" The principal didn't quite know what to do with me, so there C and I sat and served our half hour detention. I then went home with her, and called the district superintendent.
The next day, the principal called me at home, and asked me to meet with her. When I arrived, she had C, C's teacher, and 4 other children in her office. Apparently, after I served detention in support of my daughter, the principal decided to further investigate the matter of what had occurred in class 2 days earlier. She had called each and every child in the class down to her office, and these 4 who sat near C all told the exact same story as C had tried to tell. That C had been working at her desk, that the other girl had said, "whit b**ch" and shoved the desk into C, knocking her over backwards, and that all C had done was call out her teacher's name for help.
The teacher continued trying to say that since she hadn't sen it happen, she had no recourse but to punish both girls equally for causing a disturbance. The principal, however, apologized, and said she would have C's detention cleared from her record, and informed me that because of their "zero tolerance" policy they had to adhere to district guidelines and suspend the other girl for 3 days from school. I asked why had they not talked to other children BEFORE C and I served our detention? Why had I had to call the district administration office and talk to the superintendent to get anything looked into? Why had C had to serve the detention in the first place, when she should have been HELPED when she was hurt and bruised, instead of being punished fro being 8 years old and asking for help in vain? The principal and teacher both tried to say that some of the other children were against C because she always won high honor awards at assembly, and therefore they felt she was getting "special treatment".
Well....DUH! I guess any child who was one of only two in the whole school who consistently made the high honor roll SHOULD get to feel a little special, walking up every quarterly assembly and receiving their certificate award. That's a pretty big deal. It is not something a child should be made to feel ashamed of, or that a child should feel he/she has to NOT get in order to be SAFE! The girl who shoved her desk into C was in her second grade class. However, this girl had been in trouble numerous times for bullying other children for whatever reason, and she was 10 years old and SUPPOSED to be in 4th grade, but had been held back twice. She was older, about a foot taller (really, this girl was TALL), and had a long school record of trouble. Yes, they cleared C's school record of the detention, but she still had had to serve it, and she had still had to go 2 days being a victim not only of the girl who hurt her, but of a teacher who wouldn't listen or get the facts!
Sadly, all this was not enough to make me think of pulling C out of public school. I STILL hadn't heard of homeschooling, other than the Duggar family on TV. I didn't think it was LEGAL. I didn't think normal people did it. It certainly never crossed MY mind that it was an option. By this time I HAD looked into private Christian schools in our area, but they were WAY beyond our financial means. However, I made the comment to my husband one night that due to what C was experiencing, and due to the graphic sexual behaviors at April's middle school, that, "Come hell or high water, I will NOT allow C to continue in this school district. I will save every penny I can so that by the time SHE reaches middle school I can put her in a private school!"
To be continued....next post...third grade, the year that changed everything.
Meanwhile, C sailed through first grade with no major problems, and a wonderful teacher. C made "high honor roll" every quarter in first and second grade. She was one of only 2 students in the entire school to receive that honor. I continued being actively involved in helping out with classroom activities and field trips. The only trouble C had during these years was a few of her classmates made fun of her for always being on high honor roll, and for having a mother who cared enough to come in and help out in the classroom. She was still being called vulgar names, but this time the name-calling stemmed mainly from GIRLS in her class, one in particular. C began to refuse to go to the bathroom at school because these girls would gang up on her during restroom break.
C also began, during these years, to suffer night terrors.....virtually every night I would awaken to her screaming, yelling, crying. I could not get her to wake up during these episodes, and she claimed to not remember them at all in the mornings. She became very tired and difficult to wake up for school in the mornings. Every time I tried to talk to her, find out what was bothering her, she claimed to have no memory of bad dreams, or of screaming and crying for a good half hour at LEAST every night.
One day C came home with a note stating she had a detention after school the next day for "disrupting" class. Of course, I asked her what happened. She said one of the girls who always taunted her had been walking up the aisle between desks. The teacher had been writing something on the blackboard. This girl whispered "white b**ch!" at my daughter, and shoved her desk into C so hard that C had bruises on her chest, and knocked her over backwards out of her chair. C cried out, " Mrs W!" to her teacher, and THAT was how C managed to disrupt the class. Mrs. W claims that since she didn't SEE what happened, and since C was always complaining and "tattling" on this other girl that her only recourse was to give both girls detention the next day. The teacher said since she didn't personally see the incident, only heard C call out her name, that she had to punish both girls equally. Mrs. W told me then, as on other occasions, that C really needed to learn to "handle" things, and not be such a tattle tale all the time. I told Mrs. W that maybe SHE needed to learn to handle her class and not allow girls to push and shove other little girls and call them b**ches and leave bruises on them, and then punish C for merely calling out to her teacher for help. I then called the principal, who said she had to stand by the teacher.
So...the next day at 2 : 15, I showed up in the school office, and served detention with my daughter. I felt it was unfair that she should even be punished at ALL, let alone that the girl who made a racist, profane comment to her and knocked her clear out of her chair backwards was receiving the SAME punishment as my daughter was for calling to the teacher for help. Of course, the principal came out and told me I couldn't be there in the detention room, and i told her, "You already know I feel this is wrong. Our school district claims to have a "zero tolerance" policy for bullying and violence, yet you have issued C a detention which goes on her permanent record for asking for help. While I disagree with her being punished, I also raise my daughter to respect her authority figures, which, at school are her teachers and YOU. Therefore, since you have decided she has to serve this detention, I want her to know we have to respect that decision, but I'm not making her sit here alone when she did nothing wrong!" The principal didn't quite know what to do with me, so there C and I sat and served our half hour detention. I then went home with her, and called the district superintendent.
The next day, the principal called me at home, and asked me to meet with her. When I arrived, she had C, C's teacher, and 4 other children in her office. Apparently, after I served detention in support of my daughter, the principal decided to further investigate the matter of what had occurred in class 2 days earlier. She had called each and every child in the class down to her office, and these 4 who sat near C all told the exact same story as C had tried to tell. That C had been working at her desk, that the other girl had said, "whit b**ch" and shoved the desk into C, knocking her over backwards, and that all C had done was call out her teacher's name for help.
The teacher continued trying to say that since she hadn't sen it happen, she had no recourse but to punish both girls equally for causing a disturbance. The principal, however, apologized, and said she would have C's detention cleared from her record, and informed me that because of their "zero tolerance" policy they had to adhere to district guidelines and suspend the other girl for 3 days from school. I asked why had they not talked to other children BEFORE C and I served our detention? Why had I had to call the district administration office and talk to the superintendent to get anything looked into? Why had C had to serve the detention in the first place, when she should have been HELPED when she was hurt and bruised, instead of being punished fro being 8 years old and asking for help in vain? The principal and teacher both tried to say that some of the other children were against C because she always won high honor awards at assembly, and therefore they felt she was getting "special treatment".
Well....DUH! I guess any child who was one of only two in the whole school who consistently made the high honor roll SHOULD get to feel a little special, walking up every quarterly assembly and receiving their certificate award. That's a pretty big deal. It is not something a child should be made to feel ashamed of, or that a child should feel he/she has to NOT get in order to be SAFE! The girl who shoved her desk into C was in her second grade class. However, this girl had been in trouble numerous times for bullying other children for whatever reason, and she was 10 years old and SUPPOSED to be in 4th grade, but had been held back twice. She was older, about a foot taller (really, this girl was TALL), and had a long school record of trouble. Yes, they cleared C's school record of the detention, but she still had had to serve it, and she had still had to go 2 days being a victim not only of the girl who hurt her, but of a teacher who wouldn't listen or get the facts!
Sadly, all this was not enough to make me think of pulling C out of public school. I STILL hadn't heard of homeschooling, other than the Duggar family on TV. I didn't think it was LEGAL. I didn't think normal people did it. It certainly never crossed MY mind that it was an option. By this time I HAD looked into private Christian schools in our area, but they were WAY beyond our financial means. However, I made the comment to my husband one night that due to what C was experiencing, and due to the graphic sexual behaviors at April's middle school, that, "Come hell or high water, I will NOT allow C to continue in this school district. I will save every penny I can so that by the time SHE reaches middle school I can put her in a private school!"
To be continued....next post...third grade, the year that changed everything.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Why We Began Home Schooling...part 1...public school
My daughter, C, always had a love of learning. I spent her baby months teaching her colors, ABCs and counting. By the time she was 18 months old she not only could recite the alphabet, she could recognize and find each letter. Through her toddler years we spent hours each day working puzzles, playing games, reading, and learning songs, shapes, and all the other typical "toddler stuff". When she was 3, I felt she needed to have a few hours each day to be around little children her age, and to learn more. So I sent her off to preschool, where I discovered she already knew all the things they were teaching. I still felt it was "good" for her to be with other kids, though, and I was very actively involved with her classroom, coming in and helping the teachers a couple times a week, going on all field trips, and daily helping the other little ones with pick up and drop off at the bus area.
Everyone praised me for such a smart daughter, but I really didn't think THEN, and I STILL don't think that she was really any SMARTER; she just had a mother who spent her days working with her from infancy onward, teaching her things. When I couldn't think of any more to teach her I bought C workbooks for math and spelling and reading and writing, and worked with her more. At that time I had never HEARD of home schooling, and I wouldn't have considered it if I HAD heard of it. Little did I know that I WAS home schooling.
C turned 5, and off she went to Kindergarten. And that's where it all fell apart. She spent the first semester crying and begging not to go to school. There were a couple of boys in her class who taunted her, poking her with pencils as she tried to do her worksheets, calling her very vulgar names (fat c*nt, and dumb b**ch the 2 most frequently used). These boys caused her to be afraid of going to school, and because of her fears I felt like a horrible mother forcing her to go every day to a place that was "good" for her. I spoke with her teacher, and her teacher said, " I know, these boys are horrible, but there is nothing we can do about it. They come from troubled homes, and we are supposed to give them leniency. They call ME those same names." Well, I couldn't believe THAT. There is no way a teacher is going to be told to ALLOW that kind of language and bullying, and I was horrified this was going on in KINDERGARTEN! So, I took my issues to the principal, and lo and behold, the teacher had not been misinformed, the principal ALSO told me these boys come from troubled homes, and need encouragement, not discipline. Well, I'm all for encouraging children, but not in negative behaviors that involve verbal and physical abuse! I wondered if these children were so abusive and vulgar at the age of FIVE, what would they be like in HIGH SCHOOL?!? What kind of men would they be? How would they treat their wives or girlfriends when they were older?
Well, I guess the teacher and principal got tired of me being a pest and not shutting up about what my daughter had to endure every day, because one day in January, they called and informed me that they were having a little problem with C. Since she was so unhappy in Mrs. C's class, they switched her into Mr. D's class. They didn't let either of us know they were going to switch her, they didn't prepare C, they just pulled her out of class one day and told her she had to go be in Mr. D's class. Mr. D was a brand new teacher. He had never taught before, until this semester. They gave him a class of 12 children. C had LOVED her "old" teacher, and while she had to endure abuses no ADULT should put up with, let alone a child, she was, quite naturally, scared and didn't know anyone in this new class other than....the 2 boys who had spent the first semester tormenting her. Yes, THEY were switched into Mr D.'s class too!!!! The principal told me C was having a little problem. I asked, "What do you mean?" And the principal said, "Well Mr. D can't get her to lift her head off the desk. She has been crying since this morning when we put her in his class. She wouldn't even get out of her seat to have lunch. " Mind you, this was at 2:00, just minutes before I was walking out the door to go pick her up.
After meeting Mr. D, and talking with him about a half hour with C included in the conversation, I decided to give his class a try. As this was his first semester teaching, they had only given him a small class. They gave him a few of the kids who caused problems. And C was deemed a problem causer for 2 reasons: 1.) because the other children picked on her, and 2.) because she already knew everything they were trying to teach the rest of her class, and so spent much of her time reading books because she finished her work so early, and they didn't know what to do with her. We agreed to have C be in his class for 2 weeks only. If, after 2 weeks, she still wanted to go back to Mrs. C's class she could.
Mr. D personally called me every day letting me know how she was doing. The first few days she refused to do anything but cry, and refused to eat lunch or go outside for recess. She, literally, would not leave her desk. However, by the end of 2 weeks, C began joyfully running to meet me when I picked her up, telling me all about new things she was learning, cool things the class was doing, and best of all....the 2 little boys who had been so mean to her all along and yet had been transferred into Mr. D's class...well Mr. D didn't tolerate their language, their bullying, and their disruptiveness. Somehow HE managed to run a class, teach the children, and keep the children under control. Mr. D felt so bad for C; he felt personally responsible for her being moved into his classroom, and being so sad, scared, and miserable. So, he made it a personal goal to make her LIKE school, make her ENJOY coming, and show her that no one would be allowed to hurt her in his class.
By the end of the school year, C had learned tons. She was reading fluently, waking up smiling, excited to go to school, and was only sad when she realized that finishing kindergarten meant leaving her beloved Mr. D behind. ALL the children put in his class loved that man, even the 2 little boys who had been so out of control. Well, heck, *I* loved that man...he gave me back my happy little girl who LIKED school. I thought so highly of his teaching and classroom abilities I wrote a letter to the administration and the school board on his behalf because they weren't sure they wanted to keep him on in our district,, because he was so new. Funny, how a tenured teacher and a principal couldn't figure out how to manage troubled kids, and one accelerated child, but a 23 year old fresh out of college not only managed just fine, he fostered respect, kindness, and a love of learning.
To be continued.....
Everyone praised me for such a smart daughter, but I really didn't think THEN, and I STILL don't think that she was really any SMARTER; she just had a mother who spent her days working with her from infancy onward, teaching her things. When I couldn't think of any more to teach her I bought C workbooks for math and spelling and reading and writing, and worked with her more. At that time I had never HEARD of home schooling, and I wouldn't have considered it if I HAD heard of it. Little did I know that I WAS home schooling.
C turned 5, and off she went to Kindergarten. And that's where it all fell apart. She spent the first semester crying and begging not to go to school. There were a couple of boys in her class who taunted her, poking her with pencils as she tried to do her worksheets, calling her very vulgar names (fat c*nt, and dumb b**ch the 2 most frequently used). These boys caused her to be afraid of going to school, and because of her fears I felt like a horrible mother forcing her to go every day to a place that was "good" for her. I spoke with her teacher, and her teacher said, " I know, these boys are horrible, but there is nothing we can do about it. They come from troubled homes, and we are supposed to give them leniency. They call ME those same names." Well, I couldn't believe THAT. There is no way a teacher is going to be told to ALLOW that kind of language and bullying, and I was horrified this was going on in KINDERGARTEN! So, I took my issues to the principal, and lo and behold, the teacher had not been misinformed, the principal ALSO told me these boys come from troubled homes, and need encouragement, not discipline. Well, I'm all for encouraging children, but not in negative behaviors that involve verbal and physical abuse! I wondered if these children were so abusive and vulgar at the age of FIVE, what would they be like in HIGH SCHOOL?!? What kind of men would they be? How would they treat their wives or girlfriends when they were older?
Well, I guess the teacher and principal got tired of me being a pest and not shutting up about what my daughter had to endure every day, because one day in January, they called and informed me that they were having a little problem with C. Since she was so unhappy in Mrs. C's class, they switched her into Mr. D's class. They didn't let either of us know they were going to switch her, they didn't prepare C, they just pulled her out of class one day and told her she had to go be in Mr. D's class. Mr. D was a brand new teacher. He had never taught before, until this semester. They gave him a class of 12 children. C had LOVED her "old" teacher, and while she had to endure abuses no ADULT should put up with, let alone a child, she was, quite naturally, scared and didn't know anyone in this new class other than....the 2 boys who had spent the first semester tormenting her. Yes, THEY were switched into Mr D.'s class too!!!! The principal told me C was having a little problem. I asked, "What do you mean?" And the principal said, "Well Mr. D can't get her to lift her head off the desk. She has been crying since this morning when we put her in his class. She wouldn't even get out of her seat to have lunch. " Mind you, this was at 2:00, just minutes before I was walking out the door to go pick her up.
After meeting Mr. D, and talking with him about a half hour with C included in the conversation, I decided to give his class a try. As this was his first semester teaching, they had only given him a small class. They gave him a few of the kids who caused problems. And C was deemed a problem causer for 2 reasons: 1.) because the other children picked on her, and 2.) because she already knew everything they were trying to teach the rest of her class, and so spent much of her time reading books because she finished her work so early, and they didn't know what to do with her. We agreed to have C be in his class for 2 weeks only. If, after 2 weeks, she still wanted to go back to Mrs. C's class she could.
Mr. D personally called me every day letting me know how she was doing. The first few days she refused to do anything but cry, and refused to eat lunch or go outside for recess. She, literally, would not leave her desk. However, by the end of 2 weeks, C began joyfully running to meet me when I picked her up, telling me all about new things she was learning, cool things the class was doing, and best of all....the 2 little boys who had been so mean to her all along and yet had been transferred into Mr. D's class...well Mr. D didn't tolerate their language, their bullying, and their disruptiveness. Somehow HE managed to run a class, teach the children, and keep the children under control. Mr. D felt so bad for C; he felt personally responsible for her being moved into his classroom, and being so sad, scared, and miserable. So, he made it a personal goal to make her LIKE school, make her ENJOY coming, and show her that no one would be allowed to hurt her in his class.
By the end of the school year, C had learned tons. She was reading fluently, waking up smiling, excited to go to school, and was only sad when she realized that finishing kindergarten meant leaving her beloved Mr. D behind. ALL the children put in his class loved that man, even the 2 little boys who had been so out of control. Well, heck, *I* loved that man...he gave me back my happy little girl who LIKED school. I thought so highly of his teaching and classroom abilities I wrote a letter to the administration and the school board on his behalf because they weren't sure they wanted to keep him on in our district,, because he was so new. Funny, how a tenured teacher and a principal couldn't figure out how to manage troubled kids, and one accelerated child, but a 23 year old fresh out of college not only managed just fine, he fostered respect, kindness, and a love of learning.
To be continued.....
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Who We Are...A Reintroduction
I began this blog over 3 years ago, shortly after I began home schooling full time. In the past 3 years I have gained new readers, many of which don't personally know our family. Our familial circumstances have also drastically changed, so I feel that it's time to explain a little about who we are, an "introduction" to my newer readers, and a "reintroduction" for those of you who have known me all along.
As it says in my sidebar, my name is Rebecca. I am a stay-at-home-home-schooling-mom. I've raised/am raising 4 daughters. April is 20, B is 17, and neither of them live at home anymore, but both live nearby so that we see them somewhat frequently. Technically, April and B are "step"-daughters, but as I raised them full-time from the ages of 3 and 6, I consider them my own. I guess if we want to be TECHNICAL, they are no longer my actual step-daughters, as I was divorced a year and a half ago from their dad, but again....family isn't simply blood, or marital ties, and these 2 girls will always be daughters to me.
At home with me are my 2 biological daughters. C is 12 1/2 and in 7th grade. E is 8 and in 3rd grade. Both are active in softball. C loves cats to the point of obsession, playing the violin, and reading. E loves ALL animals, playing the piano, listening to music, reading, and helping others. E is the kindest, most generous person I've ever known. C has an attitude just like her mother, yet is a little shy. Both girls love to play outside, BE outside in nature, and being with friends.
I am recently remarried (6 weeks ago) to Mark. Mark is very private, and so am I, so I try not to write about him too often, or say too much when I do.
C and E's dad is Danny, to whom I was married for 12 years. He happens to be getting married (tomorrow) so the girls will have a step-mother, Brandi. As I don't know her, I won't say much about her, either.
That is basically WHO the main members of our family are. As I said, I've been a stay-at-home-mother since I met Danny, and April and B. I was a nurse prior to that, but my priority and Danny's has always been to BE home with our children, to raise them ourselves, to be the primary people they spend time with. No matter how poor we have been at times, we both considered it imperative to put parenting and time with the girls first. It never crossed either of our minds that I work outside the home, leaving my children with someone else, and when we divorced, we both agreed C and E shall remain home schooled.
Now that you know the basics of who is our family, in my next post I will address the main aspect of our life, which is home schooling. Everything I do, every day, from my schedule to my finances ( or lack thereof ) , from the girls visiting their dad to when I am able to do chores and yard work, my life is dictated by putting my daughters first, educating them, spending time with them, giving them the best possible life I can, being the best possible mother I can.
As it says in my sidebar, my name is Rebecca. I am a stay-at-home-home-schooling-mom. I've raised/am raising 4 daughters. April is 20, B is 17, and neither of them live at home anymore, but both live nearby so that we see them somewhat frequently. Technically, April and B are "step"-daughters, but as I raised them full-time from the ages of 3 and 6, I consider them my own. I guess if we want to be TECHNICAL, they are no longer my actual step-daughters, as I was divorced a year and a half ago from their dad, but again....family isn't simply blood, or marital ties, and these 2 girls will always be daughters to me.
At home with me are my 2 biological daughters. C is 12 1/2 and in 7th grade. E is 8 and in 3rd grade. Both are active in softball. C loves cats to the point of obsession, playing the violin, and reading. E loves ALL animals, playing the piano, listening to music, reading, and helping others. E is the kindest, most generous person I've ever known. C has an attitude just like her mother, yet is a little shy. Both girls love to play outside, BE outside in nature, and being with friends.
I am recently remarried (6 weeks ago) to Mark. Mark is very private, and so am I, so I try not to write about him too often, or say too much when I do.
C and E's dad is Danny, to whom I was married for 12 years. He happens to be getting married (tomorrow) so the girls will have a step-mother, Brandi. As I don't know her, I won't say much about her, either.
That is basically WHO the main members of our family are. As I said, I've been a stay-at-home-mother since I met Danny, and April and B. I was a nurse prior to that, but my priority and Danny's has always been to BE home with our children, to raise them ourselves, to be the primary people they spend time with. No matter how poor we have been at times, we both considered it imperative to put parenting and time with the girls first. It never crossed either of our minds that I work outside the home, leaving my children with someone else, and when we divorced, we both agreed C and E shall remain home schooled.
Now that you know the basics of who is our family, in my next post I will address the main aspect of our life, which is home schooling. Everything I do, every day, from my schedule to my finances ( or lack thereof ) , from the girls visiting their dad to when I am able to do chores and yard work, my life is dictated by putting my daughters first, educating them, spending time with them, giving them the best possible life I can, being the best possible mother I can.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Cursive vs Printing vs Keyboarding
E has been steadily learning and practicing her cursive writing. She actually does quite well. While she still labors with anything hand-written, cursive not only speeds her along a LITTLE bit, it is also much more legible...pretty actually. It has been all over the news lately that public schools in 41 states are doing away with cursive, and children will no longer be required to learn it. While I have only recently started seeing news stories about this issue, it has been a topic of debate among home schoolers for at least the past 3 or 4 years. If they can not WRITE cursive,how will they ever learn to READ cursive? Remember, most Americans use cursive as their primary form of writing, and even if they have phased cursive out of the public schools, I feel children should still learn it; if nothing else they need to be able to READ what other people write. And how will they sign their names?
All 3 of my older daughters prefer to print. However, they CAN read and write cursive, and did so for several years until they were of middle school age and allowed to choose. The public schools now feel that cursive is becoming obsolete due to computers and e-mail, cell phones and texts. While I feel it IS important to learn to type, I don't feel children should rely on typing until they can write by hand well, in EITHER form....printing or cursive. My children all learned cursive in 2nd grade...E is a few months behind, as she is going into 3rd grade, but that is due to her possible dysgraphia issues. C is going into 7th grade, and thus far I only allow her to type e-mails (of course) and final drafts of reports or major writing assignments. She is learning to type as she goes, although I will hopefully be able to afford to get her a formal "keyboard" curriculum by the time she is in 9th grade. By 9th grade she will have been printing for 10 years, and writing in cursive for 6. She will have no trouble reverting to whichever form of handwriting she prefers by then, and by 9th grade she will have a true NEED to learn to get around proficiently on the keyboard for lengthier and more frequent writing assignments. For now, though, I prefer to let the computer be used only for "special" assignments, and final drafts. Sort of like I allow the internet to be used only for research on those same types of assignments, and things such as real books and encyclopedias for most of her research.
So while I am all for children learning to type and be proficient on a keyboard, my opinion is that they should FIRST be proficient at good old-fashioned printing and cursive, and have several years of both under their belts before taking the "easy" way out and typing everything.
All 3 of my older daughters prefer to print. However, they CAN read and write cursive, and did so for several years until they were of middle school age and allowed to choose. The public schools now feel that cursive is becoming obsolete due to computers and e-mail, cell phones and texts. While I feel it IS important to learn to type, I don't feel children should rely on typing until they can write by hand well, in EITHER form....printing or cursive. My children all learned cursive in 2nd grade...E is a few months behind, as she is going into 3rd grade, but that is due to her possible dysgraphia issues. C is going into 7th grade, and thus far I only allow her to type e-mails (of course) and final drafts of reports or major writing assignments. She is learning to type as she goes, although I will hopefully be able to afford to get her a formal "keyboard" curriculum by the time she is in 9th grade. By 9th grade she will have been printing for 10 years, and writing in cursive for 6. She will have no trouble reverting to whichever form of handwriting she prefers by then, and by 9th grade she will have a true NEED to learn to get around proficiently on the keyboard for lengthier and more frequent writing assignments. For now, though, I prefer to let the computer be used only for "special" assignments, and final drafts. Sort of like I allow the internet to be used only for research on those same types of assignments, and things such as real books and encyclopedias for most of her research.
So while I am all for children learning to type and be proficient on a keyboard, my opinion is that they should FIRST be proficient at good old-fashioned printing and cursive, and have several years of both under their belts before taking the "easy" way out and typing everything.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Indepence Day/Thank You A and B/and a Disclaimer
DISCLAIMER: For this post I would first like to mention that awhile back I said there were a few private issues in my life that affect our home school, and our life in general. For the past 3 years of writing this blog, I have left personal details out, and kept our names, locations, and identifications private. However, I have been feeling lately that, while still keeping identities private and not betraying TOO much information, I would like to delve a little bit more into aspects of our life that make our family unique, especially among the home schooling crowd. Not that I'm a very inspiring person, but there were many years in my life that I would have been inspired, or at least not quite so ALONE, if I had realized I was not the only one on this planet dealing with such things as alcoholism, abuse, and yes, home schooling as a single parent with no family to help me, watch the kids, or offer financial help, or moral support. I am blessed in that the girls dad(up until the past month) has always been very supportive of home schooling, and that the girls step-dad is also supportive of it. However little I reveal in the ensuing post, it is still a lot more than I have ever PUBLICLY revealed, but I feel it important for others to read the truth, not just some pretty picture of the good things in our life. I hope to soon find time to elaborate more on our particular situation, and yet retain privacy and be respectful of all parties in our family. Ok...on to the main topic...
This is my least favorite holiday. My ex-husband used to make quite a drunken production of The Fourth of July and several days leading up to it. The first time he ever beat me *badly* (requiring medical treatment) was during, and because of, fireworks, when I was 5 months pregnant with my now 12 year old. So, needless to say, for years I dreaded and barely endured this time every year.
But THIS year, I actually ENJOYED it. In our town, for some strange reason, everyone always puts on their big fireworks shows on the 3rd. Both my older 2 daughters live within an hour of me, and they stopped by Saturday night to ask if I'd like them to take C and E to the show last night. After giving it some thought, I called them yesterday and said if they wanted to we could ALL go, and I would drive. Just because *I* don't have any fond memories of the 4th, doesn't mean I shouldn't let C and E have fun and get to see what every American child SHOULD see. We're American, it's our tradition, and sometimes Moms do things they don't want to do for their children.
My oldest daughter (technically they are ex-step-daughters, but as I raised them, spent their whole lives with them, they consider me mom, and I consider them my own)was a bit shocked, "But MOM, you HATE the 4th!", but she and B were both happy with letting me do the driving and come along. They both brought their boyfriends, so there were 7 of us altogether.
Much to my surprise, I had a REALLY GOOD time! We all did. We talked, and laughed, and ate very overpriced cheeseburgers and fries, and a few times remembered some of the humiliating, stupid things the kids' dad used to do, and were simply able to laugh about it, and be thankful none of us have to deal with his abuse any more. Well, MOST of us....E got off the phone crying from his nightly phone call while we were there, and said he was "really mad" that we were all there together, and when C got off her turn on the phone she just rolled her eyes, and said he was being stupid and mad again. (He's been having a few "issues" since my remarriage, and the entire reason we got divorced was because of his abuse of A and his drinking, so naturally he doesn't like that she and I have remained in close contact. )Other than THAT, though, the night was wonderful, and the fireworks actually lasted about 45 minutes, which for around here is a pretty good show. It took us about that long to get out of the parking lot, and then we came home, the girls visited with my husband for a few minutes, and went on their way.
So, not only did we celebrate the anniversary of our NATION'S independence, my 4 daughters and I were able to enjoy and celebrate OUR independence, freedom from abuse and alcoholism, and just have fun, and ENJOY the night, which is the way it should have ALWAYS been. I think it was very good for all of us. Thank you so much A and B for thinking of your little sisters, and for the nice night we had last night.
Happy Fourth of July everyone!
This is my least favorite holiday. My ex-husband used to make quite a drunken production of The Fourth of July and several days leading up to it. The first time he ever beat me *badly* (requiring medical treatment) was during, and because of, fireworks, when I was 5 months pregnant with my now 12 year old. So, needless to say, for years I dreaded and barely endured this time every year.
But THIS year, I actually ENJOYED it. In our town, for some strange reason, everyone always puts on their big fireworks shows on the 3rd. Both my older 2 daughters live within an hour of me, and they stopped by Saturday night to ask if I'd like them to take C and E to the show last night. After giving it some thought, I called them yesterday and said if they wanted to we could ALL go, and I would drive. Just because *I* don't have any fond memories of the 4th, doesn't mean I shouldn't let C and E have fun and get to see what every American child SHOULD see. We're American, it's our tradition, and sometimes Moms do things they don't want to do for their children.
My oldest daughter (technically they are ex-step-daughters, but as I raised them, spent their whole lives with them, they consider me mom, and I consider them my own)was a bit shocked, "But MOM, you HATE the 4th!", but she and B were both happy with letting me do the driving and come along. They both brought their boyfriends, so there were 7 of us altogether.
Much to my surprise, I had a REALLY GOOD time! We all did. We talked, and laughed, and ate very overpriced cheeseburgers and fries, and a few times remembered some of the humiliating, stupid things the kids' dad used to do, and were simply able to laugh about it, and be thankful none of us have to deal with his abuse any more. Well, MOST of us....E got off the phone crying from his nightly phone call while we were there, and said he was "really mad" that we were all there together, and when C got off her turn on the phone she just rolled her eyes, and said he was being stupid and mad again. (He's been having a few "issues" since my remarriage, and the entire reason we got divorced was because of his abuse of A and his drinking, so naturally he doesn't like that she and I have remained in close contact. )Other than THAT, though, the night was wonderful, and the fireworks actually lasted about 45 minutes, which for around here is a pretty good show. It took us about that long to get out of the parking lot, and then we came home, the girls visited with my husband for a few minutes, and went on their way.
So, not only did we celebrate the anniversary of our NATION'S independence, my 4 daughters and I were able to enjoy and celebrate OUR independence, freedom from abuse and alcoholism, and just have fun, and ENJOY the night, which is the way it should have ALWAYS been. I think it was very good for all of us. Thank you so much A and B for thinking of your little sisters, and for the nice night we had last night.
Happy Fourth of July everyone!
Friday, July 1, 2011
A Reminder That No Matter How Tight Times Are, God DOES Provide even the Little Things
I received a complimentary issue of "Homeschool Enrichment" Magazine a few days ago, as I'm sure many of you also have. I've never heard of, let alone read, this particular home school magazine before, but so far I've enjoyed every article in it. But one, in particular, really struck me, because it reminded me of something miraculous in my life that I'd forgotten about.
Back in October, 1998, I was a brand new wife, and a brand new mother. I had 2 step kids that I considered my own and raised their entire lives who were, at that time, 4 and 7 years old. I had a baby less than 3 weeks old, and we were, to say the least, poor as church mice. Our bills weren't much...rent, power, and that as about it. We had propane heat because we lived in the country, and we had well water for the same reason, and we burned our trash, so no garbage or sewer bill. We didn't have a computer, so no internet, and we didn't even have TV, so no cable TV bill. But we also had no income....neither of us worked. We had very little food, because it's hard to buy food with no income. We had a clean house, happy kids, and when my then husband found an odd job here and there, or my mother sent us a little cash, we bought several weeks worth of cheap groceries for the kids, and he and I rationed our food to one meal every 3 or 4 days. By cheap, I mean our kids LIVED on Ramen noodles and bologna sandwiches. On a good day we had grilled cheese and tomato soup.
One morning, I noticed my 2 week old baby girl, C, had thrush. She was screaming in agony, and wouldn't nurse. I called the doctor, and he prescribed some medicine for me to go pick up for her. However, when I called the pharmacy to see how much it was, they said it would be almost $9.00. Now, $9.00 certainly isn't much, but it was about $8.00 more than we had when we scraped out change together.
I couldn't bear seeing my baby girl crying, in pain and hungry, but unable to nurse because of the pain. I was sure she was going to starve to death. I was crying, and, though I had no faith at that time, I didn't know what else to do, so I said, "God, please help me help my baby. Help me find a way to make her better." As I sat there trying to rock her, and both of us crying, D went out to get the mail. One of the envelopes was addressed to my baby, and was obviously a card congratulating us on her birth. I opened it up, and....enclosed was a 5 dollar bill and 4 ones. $9.00.
Now....who in the world sends $9 for a baby gift? NO one sends such an odd amount. People would either send a an even $10 or $20, or just a card and gift, but not a 5 and 4 ones. So here i am, not a Christian yet, having NO faith, but in my desperation to calm my baby and help her get well I cried to God without even thinking. And less than 15 minutes later not only did he provide, he very clearly provided the EXACT odd amount I needed to go buy C her thrush medication. Maybe back then I didn't yet have faith, but He sure wanted me to know he listens!
Times for me right now are just about as tough as they were back then. I have no babies, my youngest daughter is now 8. I have no rent, as I own my home, but I have way more bills, and again, no income, and haven't had child support in over 6 months. I AM a Christian now, and I have a very STRONG faith, a faith that actually began the very day I am writing about, and 15 months later was fully planted. But I think God sending me the particular free issue of a home school magazine in the mail at this particular time in my life was meant as a reminder....the similarities to the story in the magazine, and to my OWN story are just too eerily similar to be a coincidence. And I sure needed that reminder at this time in my life that no matter how tight my financial situation happens to be right now, He WILL always provide for us.
Back in October, 1998, I was a brand new wife, and a brand new mother. I had 2 step kids that I considered my own and raised their entire lives who were, at that time, 4 and 7 years old. I had a baby less than 3 weeks old, and we were, to say the least, poor as church mice. Our bills weren't much...rent, power, and that as about it. We had propane heat because we lived in the country, and we had well water for the same reason, and we burned our trash, so no garbage or sewer bill. We didn't have a computer, so no internet, and we didn't even have TV, so no cable TV bill. But we also had no income....neither of us worked. We had very little food, because it's hard to buy food with no income. We had a clean house, happy kids, and when my then husband found an odd job here and there, or my mother sent us a little cash, we bought several weeks worth of cheap groceries for the kids, and he and I rationed our food to one meal every 3 or 4 days. By cheap, I mean our kids LIVED on Ramen noodles and bologna sandwiches. On a good day we had grilled cheese and tomato soup.
One morning, I noticed my 2 week old baby girl, C, had thrush. She was screaming in agony, and wouldn't nurse. I called the doctor, and he prescribed some medicine for me to go pick up for her. However, when I called the pharmacy to see how much it was, they said it would be almost $9.00. Now, $9.00 certainly isn't much, but it was about $8.00 more than we had when we scraped out change together.
I couldn't bear seeing my baby girl crying, in pain and hungry, but unable to nurse because of the pain. I was sure she was going to starve to death. I was crying, and, though I had no faith at that time, I didn't know what else to do, so I said, "God, please help me help my baby. Help me find a way to make her better." As I sat there trying to rock her, and both of us crying, D went out to get the mail. One of the envelopes was addressed to my baby, and was obviously a card congratulating us on her birth. I opened it up, and....enclosed was a 5 dollar bill and 4 ones. $9.00.
Now....who in the world sends $9 for a baby gift? NO one sends such an odd amount. People would either send a an even $10 or $20, or just a card and gift, but not a 5 and 4 ones. So here i am, not a Christian yet, having NO faith, but in my desperation to calm my baby and help her get well I cried to God without even thinking. And less than 15 minutes later not only did he provide, he very clearly provided the EXACT odd amount I needed to go buy C her thrush medication. Maybe back then I didn't yet have faith, but He sure wanted me to know he listens!
Times for me right now are just about as tough as they were back then. I have no babies, my youngest daughter is now 8. I have no rent, as I own my home, but I have way more bills, and again, no income, and haven't had child support in over 6 months. I AM a Christian now, and I have a very STRONG faith, a faith that actually began the very day I am writing about, and 15 months later was fully planted. But I think God sending me the particular free issue of a home school magazine in the mail at this particular time in my life was meant as a reminder....the similarities to the story in the magazine, and to my OWN story are just too eerily similar to be a coincidence. And I sure needed that reminder at this time in my life that no matter how tight my financial situation happens to be right now, He WILL always provide for us.
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